Yep, there are 3 fly strips above the salad bar!   Flies, gnats, bugs, … critters of all kinds are stuck on the sticky tape and……….. Staci and I just lost our appetite.

We were traveling somewhere in the middle of nowhere west Texas when I got hungry.  I really enjoy driving off the beaten path.  It’s a great way to enjoy the scenery, see small towns, and even meet new people.  Most of all, it’s a great way to find small “Mom and Pop” restaurants that 9 times out of ten are exceptional with their food.

Uh Oh. This was the 10th out of ten.

We opened the door at 10:58 am.  Lunch is served, starting at 11.  Immediately upon entering we are greeted by (Vern), a man in his 50’s who is mopping up a mess.  “Come on in” was his welcome in a friendly voice.  But he quickly resumed mopping and discussing and cussing his current situation of having to clean up a mess that he himself had caused.  I’m guessing that his day wasn’t going smoothly.  Course, I really didn’t need to guess as he was diligently telling me how he hates cleaning up “messes”.  In between his cussin’ and discussin’ Staci inquires as to what food tastes good in his place………….  It couldn’t have been easier, or harder, if we had been FBI agents conducting a raid and investigation.  Every question she asked, (Vern) would beat around the bush, talk about his other foods, and continue to complain about the mopping.  What was puzzling to me was how he kept saying that we were early and that the “normal” lunch crowd would be there  any minute.  He also said that they sat at “THOSE TABLES” there.  (I can read body language, he was telling us we couldn’t sit in THOSE 5 tables because they were for the normal people, not us)

This was getting interesting.  There were three items for lunch listed on the hand written sign.  We both picked “Southern Fried Catfish”.  He said “Good choice! Now give me a few minutes to go catch ’em, then clean ’em, then cook ’em so you can then eat ’em.”  I started to volunteer to help “catch ’em”, but I was afraid to leave Staci by herself.  Ok Ok, I’ll admit it.  I was afraid to go anywhere alone with this guy.  He was beginning to give me the “Heeby Jeebys”.  This decision (mine mostly,) to stop and eat here was beginning to look like a bad idea.

The fish must not have been biting, cause it took a long time before our meal was ready.  (It’s now 11:20…. still waiting……, oh yea and there are no “normal lunch crowd” there yet.  none, nada, zip)  (Vern) does come out after a while and asks if we would like a salad while we wait.  “Sure thing” we both say.  Might as well eat a salad WHILE WE WAIT!!!

I tend to get amused when things aren’t going as pictured or planned.  Staci, well, she is welling up inside (I can tell) and will pretty soon be giving someone(VERN) a piece of her mind.  Uh oh.

Vern proudly takes us over to the salad bar.  It’s empty.  “S%&#” he yells. “Forgot to put the stuff out”.  He quickly comes back with the containers of salad bar entrees.  Salad, beans, carrots? maybe?, cole slaw, and some kind of liquidy green substance that wasn’t stirred up very well.  AND………and it all was only half filled, as  it appeared to be left overs from the night (or week) before.

First time I ever saw Staci pass on a salad!  Me, I filled my plate up with lettuce and cole slaw.  I passed on the liquidy green substance because, well it reminded me of the pond scum and moss where I had fished two days earlier.

“Not hungry, sweetie?” I asked, relishing the moment, knowing that I wouldn’t hear the end of this for a long time.

Staci had a look of dismay and disgust on her face.  “Did you see it?” she asked.  “What the pond scummy stuff”? I wondered.  “Nooooo!  The fly strips under the salad bar cover”  (time out)  Under the “sneeze guard” of the salad bar, there were three lights.  Wrapped around the lights and hanging down, were three fly strips.  They obviously were hanging down, because they were loaded, weighted down with flies, bugs, gnats, and…….. I think I saw  a grasshopper!!

No salad for her,……….. I think I’m gonna pass on that cole slaw now.

11:40  Here comes (Vern) with our fish plates.  Staci is already looking pale, nah it’s more of a bluish color.  I begin to eat the fish……….. or at least try to.  But Vern wants to know where we are from, what we are doing, who we voted for, why are we where we are.  I can’t eat for trying to talk.  It’s then that I realize Staci is striking up this conversation just so she DOESN’T HAVE TO EAT!

The fish wasn’t that bad.  At least mine wasn’t.  Staci’s pretty much remained on her plate.  She did pick at it.  Looked like a 13 year old  picking at broccoli.

I’m normally scolded by my wife for eating too fast. But today, she is quickly up from the table headed for the door, (still talking to Vern).  I stop to take a quick picture of the fly strips.  (I’m hoping (Vern) doesn’t see me).  He doesn’t, he’s too busy telling Staci how he does this, that, and the other.

I meet him at the counter to pay.  (Staci is doing her stretches which means she’s fixin’ to bolt out the door).  I wanted to ask ole boy Vern where the “normal lunch crowd” was and why we couldn’t sit at their reserved spots. (It’s now 11:50 and we are still the only ones here!!!!)   But, I knew that might be opening a new can of worms……. and in this joint there apparently were plenty of cans of worms.

Staci and I literally run out of the doors  to our car.  (Forrest Gump would have been proud).  We exchange looks at each other while sitting in the car and both of us burst out laughing.  What had we just experienced?   Dunno!

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?  … James 2

What did this event teach me?  Well, the 10th out of 10 restaurants is not a place to go if you are hungry.  And friend, also this.  You yourself are on this Christian journey.  You yourself will meet others who are “spiritually hungry”.  My hope and prayer is that you (and I) will always be willing to share this Christian way of life.  I hope we don’t become “obsessed” with the mopped up messes and the critters and flies in our lives.  If we are obsessed with all the bad around us, then we can’t give the “good spiritual food” that you and I could be sharing with others.  That’s what this event taught me.

Oh, and one more thing this event taught me.  I didn’t know Staci could still run as fast as she did running out of the cafe.  40 plus years I’ve been chasing her,……… and I still can’t keep up.

See Ya!   Dan Ainsworth  wilderness preacher