Tag Archives: Christianity

Posted on

I Want To Fly,…… But I’m Afraid of Heights

How to Live a True Spiritual Journey by Letting Go

Well, I did it!  Scared of heights,but I did it!

Staci, Jamie, Jordan, and I took on an adventure of a ropes course. (thanks to my close friend June, for gift card…shout out to Elevate Red Creek in Perkinston, Ms).  The course consists of following a “path” 15 to 40 feet above the ground.  Various obstacles must be crossed.  Climb over a wooden bridge dangling by only ropes.  Strap in to a zip line that carries you across a  river.  Climb, pull, twist, grab, jump,….. whatever it takes to get across.  You are safely harnessed, YOU WILL NOT FALL.  Right……………………

We had to go through a ground school to be able to “play”.  We had to sign “the form” so all lawyers would be happy.  This form basically says, “You are taking your life into your own hands.  Don’t do anything stupid.  There are consequences.”  We had to listen to Donna explain the “rules”.   She told each of us how to buckle, how to clip in, how to do what it takes to have fun, (and stay alive!).  I loved how she casually mentioned that if I didn’t do one particular thing, I could die.  Well, that’s just great!!!!!!!

I am deathly afraid of heights.  Get me 4 feet off of the ground and I freeze up.  No, it’s not something I can control.  I know in my head that all is “OK”, but somewhere between the brain waves of my head to the nerve endings in my legs there is a HUGE disconnect.  My legs will not work.  But most crazy of all,…………. my hand will not let go.  I can be on a 6 foot ladder, or an outside elevator, a balcony at the hotel, or the edge of a cliff, or ON A ROPES COURSE!!  Wherever I sense that I’m above the ground,  I freeze.  I can’t move.  I can’t let go.  I’m stuck.  Laugh all you want.  Call me a chicken or scaredy cat.  Don’t matter to me.  At the time, I don’t care.  Cause there is a problem,….. I want to fly, but I’m afraid of heights.

Knowing my self and my “fear” situation, I choose to boldly go where I never choose to go on purpose.  That’s right, I’m on purpose choosing to be four feet above the ground.  (Actually, I’ll be 30 feet and higher on part of this course)  My right hand is “freezing up” as I type this.  All is well, I’m actually having fun with my family on this outing.  Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I’m overwhelmed with fear.  Yep, the hand won’t let go, the legs won’t move.  I’m stuck.  Part of me knows that I will not fall.  But a part of me (that controls my hand and legs) has shut down.  Now a part of me is embarassed.  I knew it would happen.  Everybody, and I mean everybody at the ropes course now is watching and taking interest in me.  I’m the perfect example of one of “those people”.  One of those people who are afraid.  Me afraid?  I’m down right petrified, embarrassed, unable to move, and well, mad at myself.

While I’m stuck on the rope ladder like a fly in a spider’s web, a crowd of people have somehow from somewhere gathered.  My family, other families, workers and crew, and the owner/director of the place himself……… Mr. T J.

To be honest, I was expecting to get laughed at, picked on, and in a friendly way, made fun of.  But I was hearing lots of voices.  Voices of encouragement saying “C’mon Dan da Man, You can do it!”  Voices of motivation, voices of support, voices of inspiration all were being heard by me from my loved ones.  I was hearing from complete strangers.  We were in this together,………… and yet, I couldn’t move.

Then I heard God’s voice.

OK, actually, it was T J’s voice.  He’s the leader of Elevate Red Creek.  With a calm reassuring voice, (as if he had known me for years), he said this.  “Dan, you’ve got this.  Take your left hand and move it eight inches to the left.”

When you are scared of heights, to move eight inches you might as well be moving eighteen feet.  For me to move just this small amount, not even noticeable to others, I must do something TOTALLY against my own way of thinking.  I MUST LET GO.

That’s why us “scared of heights” people are like that.  We can’t let go. Fears take control.  I KNOW that I won’t fall, but still there is the fear.

The big step here is not moving my hand eight inches to the left.  The big step is in letting go.

Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

The biggest step in becoming a Christian is a step so small that it may not be noticeable to others.  You and you alone must hear God’s voice above all the other “voices” of this world.  You and you alone must realize that God can direct and control your life even better than what you might have planned for yourself.  Fears may still be there.  It sometimes may seem totally against your own way of thinking.  But to follow Christ on this Christian journey you’ve chosen, you must take small steps.  Before God Himself can get you to “move your right hand eight inches”, you yourself must do something so small, but at the same time so HUGE that it changes your path forever.  You must let go.

Easier said than done, I know.  It involves trust, faith, letting go and taking each day one step at a time. (even eight inch steps one at a time!)

I enjoyed my time at Elevate Red Creek.  I faced my fears, I made small steps into an adventure filled with more small steps.

I’m enjoying this Christian Journey I call living my life as well.  I face my fears, I make small steps everyday following God’s will and direction.  It’s an adventure.  A Holy Spirit filled adventure.  Not because of who I am, but because of who God is!!  Care to join with me in this Christian way of life?  It’s easy!  Well, ………… first you have to let go.

See Ya!  Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher

Posted on

She Died! But Three Days Later,………. New Life!!!

Trying To Explain How I Will Die, But Then Live Forever

Ole Sally Sue Died.  She was a good chainsaw. My pride and joy, my helpmate, my “dancing partner” of the past five years, finally bit the dust.  She kicked the bucket, she expired, she croaked, she’s gone to meet her maker.

Sally Sue chainsaw is survived by her family;  Buzz saw, Rip saw, Hack saw, Skill saw, and her eccentric aunt from Florida…….. See Saw.

Sally Sue was with me for three years as I did volunteer work at Horn Creek Christian Church Camp.  She turned many storm damaged trees into railings, braces, and various log repairs to the camp buildings.  Good ole Sally Sue was also with me from the beginning of the log home project.  She cut the first log, she cut the nine foot log walls (all of them), and she was there cutting the very last log needed.

She died peacefully.  Actually I think I flooded her trying to crank her.  I pulled and pulled on the starter rope.  I yanked and yanked but no purring of the motor I was used to hearing.  She dead.  She gone. I’m gonna miss that loud noise she was always making.

Sally Sue was laid to rest at Robby’s Small Engine Repair.  See, I heard that these guys can work miracles on dead lawnmowers and chainsaws. After three days.……………….

I don’t understand a lot of stuff.  I know how to use a chainsaw.  But when the saw dies and won’t crank, then I’m stuck,  my hands are tied, I’m in trouble.  I’m helpless.  I don’t understand how a chainsaw can be brought back to life.  But these guys at Robby’s did something.  They replaced a sprocket, adjusted the carberator,(I can’t spell it much less understand it).  Cleaned out filters, replaced a spark plug, on and on.  And Sally Sue has a new life.  She runs!!!  She cuts!!!!  She basically has a BRAND NEW BODY!!!!!

John 11:24-25  Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die;  and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

OK, ok, I know it’s a chainsaw.  But my story hopefully helps to understand what I believe as a Christian.  I want you to see that I believe  Jesus will “do something” that lets me have life.  I don’t understand, (nothing says I have to), I just have to believe.  I don’t understand what Robby’s Small Engine Repair will do to my “Sally Sue”.  I just have to believe.  This belief causes me to walk in the door to their shop and say “fix this”!

So, friends, I believe that I can bring my life to Jesus and have Him “fix this”.  He can fix my life.  He can give me a new life while here on this Earth.  He will give me a new glorified body when it comes time for this ole body of mine to “croak”.  My new glorified body will live forever in Heaven.  Can’t explain it.  I’ve come close to having “panic attacks” thinking too deeply about how I will spend eternity.  I just can’t grasp in my mind how I live for thousands and thousands of years.  So I’ve decided to live a day at a time.  Enjoy life.  Enjoy the life my Lord and Saviour has given me today.  Enjoy the life I will be given for thousands and thousands of years. And even more.    HAPPY EASTER! my Christian friends!!!!

I think Sally Sue and I will go out and celebrate her new life.  I think we’ll carve a cross from one of the stumps.  I just hope I don’t “flood” her this time when I try cranking her up once again. 🙂

See Ya!   Dan Ainsworth  wilderness preacher,  celebrating New Life one day at a time!!!!!

Posted on

That Sinking Feeling

What you see is what’s left of the ladder going to my Mother’s attic.  The step I was standing on broke. Then, two more steps broke under me as I made a short but intense journey down to the floor.  I know it was quick, but I remember thinking “This is gonna hurt”.  A big scratch from one of the now exposed nails, a slight twist of the ankle, a bruised tailbone (what, I still have a tail!), and hurt pride were my results from this encounter with the attic ladder.  I didn’t fall very far, but it was far enough.

My Mother needed help getting the Christmas tree and decorations down from the attic.  I’ve always like going back up in the attic.  Lots of memories up there.  Shucks, some of my toys from fifty years ago are still up there.  Today my assignment was to bring down the Christmas tree, lights, decorations, etc. for this years’ time of celebration.  To get to all the “stuff” that is in the attic, you have to pass through the gatekeeper.  You must climb the only source available to get to the attic.  That source?  An over 50 year old flimsy ladder.

It wasn’t a big surprise.  I had actually replaced a couple of steps a few years back. (Just didn’t replace the step I was standing on that broke).

What was amazing to me was how my brain was working.  In a split second it went from singing “I’ll be Home for Christmas”, to thinking I’m Fixin’ to Be on the Floor for Christmas.  From happy, carefree, holiday spirit to pain, anxiety, hurt, and thoughts of “this is going to be TROUBLE”.

2 Corinthians 4:17, NLT For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!

I’ve read that during the holiday season, many folks have that sinking feeling.  It’s a time of year when we should be joyful, happy and celebrating the birth of our Savior Jesus.  But the way our brain works sometimes, it causes us to also realize the hurts and pains in our lives.  Maybe you’ve lost loved ones, a friend is moving, health issues, things just haven’t turned out this year like they should have.  All good reasons to feel sad and experience the sinking feeling.  That sinking feeling can happen in an instant.  Your living and loving life when all of a sudden, uh oh you are “falling from a ladder”, and your sinking feeling is overwhelming you.

Look at that scripture again.  Our troubles produce a glory??  Gotta be kidding right? Well, guess not, it’s right there in the Bible.  So, I’m hearing you ask me, “How do my troubles produce a glory from and to God”?  Honestly, I don’t think I can answer for you on that one friends.

What I can say and do know is this.  I speak from experience because I have “fallen from a ladder” several different times, both physically and mentally.  While my earthly body and brain are focusing on the current hurts and troubles that I’m experiencing,  there is a spiritual part of me that remains focused on Christ.  Even when the pains of the life on Earth are giving me depression, sadness, and hurt there is a part of me that stays with God.  I know that God is staying with me.  That’s how I feel that glory is being produced.  The glory that an all powerful God is taking time to be with me is an amazing thing.  The glory that I am giving to this all knowing, all powerful God because He is with me is my humble way of giving back to God.

The troubles that you are going through right now?  I bet it’s tough.  Probably like falling from a 20 foot tall ladder.  But hear this.  Your troubles are huge because they are your very own troubles.  But compared to ……….   Hmmm, compared to……..  Wow, compared to…..  to the Great  and Everlasting Eternal Love of God, your troubles are small and won’t last very long.

I’m not putting down your troubles as a trivial and meaningless matter.  I’m lifting up your troubles to our All powerful, great and mighty God.  Jesus is Lord.  He is Lord of our lives.  He is Lord of our good times,  and ……… He is Lord of our troubles!  To God be the Glory!

Merry Christmas!

See Ya!   Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher, full time ladder climber (to higher ground)