Category Archives: Steps Along This Journey

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Faced With Knowing You’re Not Good Enough

Oops, I crossed the line

There I go, making ANOTHER mistake! Seems that I can’t do anything right. I mean, try as hard as I might, I’m still not good enough. I don’t know if I could be considered clinically depressed, but I’m dealing with depression. Oh, ahh, not supposed to admit that am I. In our society it’s ok to have a stomach ache, a headache, even a heartache. But no one admits when they have a mental ache……… aka depression. Well, I’m admitting it cause………well, what else can go wrong. I’m frustrated, aggravated, and just down in the dumps. Hey, I know, I know, it could be worse, but today, in my mind it’s bad.

I’m struggling with, of all things, the pressure I’m putting on myself. Hey, I don’t intend to be perfect, but can I at least stay in line when I cut the boards. My project today is so simple. Build a bird house. Can’t find the nails, can’t cut a board straight. When I nailed the boards together, one of them split. I mean what’s the use right?

Whoa, I hear what you’re thinking. “Toughen up Danny boy,…… it can’t be that bad.” “Get it together, son”. “Hey, you just need to get better, bro”. Probably the best thinking I’m hearing is this one………….. “Why don’t ya just give it up, cause you’re no good.”

Hey, you guys out there think I’m always positive and things are going great with me right? Well, here’s a news flash………..you ready?………….. Dan, the wilderness preacher, sometimes gets depressed. Yep, I personally deal with the monster called “you’re not good enough”. Sorry to make you feel uncomfortable right now, but odds are, you yourself have to fight the “you’re not good enough” monster yourself. What can we do?

As disappointed as I am in my birdhouse, I go ahead and hang it on a pole.

See, a couple hours earlier, a pair of mountain bluebirds were sitting on the light line, chirping and singing away. They were “telling” me, that they were looking for a place to nest this year. That’s what made me want to build a bird house, and build it right now!

All I can see though are mistakes, mistakes, and more mistakes. That is the most pathetic, most “terribleist”, most worsest, whatever………… it’s the most depressing looking birdhouse I’ve ever ……. wait…………………………………………………………………………………

Then it happened. Within 5 minutes of me putting up my poor, pitiful creation of a bird house,….. guess what? Both the male and female bluebirds were going in and out of the house. They were singing and chirping and “telling” me that they LOVED IT!!

Galatians 2:16 NIV know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Christ Jesus. So we too have put our faith in Jesus Christ that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works…….

Look at it this way. I was depressed because of how my “works” had caused my birdhouse to look so bad. But, and this is important……… I had FAITH that the bluebirds would come and live in my house. Enough faith to actually hang the birdhouse up even with all the “not good enoughs” within the works and construction.

Funny how a bluebird “of happiness” can make the monster of “you’re not good enough” go away. It’s hard to focus on all my mistakes, when that chirpy, singing, happy little bluebird has decided to come into my birdhouse…….. and into my life.

I don’t mean to belittle the subject of depression. Some people have to fight it and have even had a doctor tell them they are clinically depressed. Others, like me, get a good dose of it from just living in this world, dealing with frustrations, and all those “you’re not good enough” thoughts.

But there is a peace beyond understanding that comes from the fact that Jesus wants to come into our lives…… even with all our mistakes. We just have to make the decision to put our FAITH in Jesus.

Funny thing too is this. When He decides to move into our birdhouse/heart, our focus isn’t so much on our mistakes as it is on HIM.

I find a joy in my heart that the bluebird has made his home in my birdhouse. An even more amazing joy I have found by having Jesus make His home in my heart!!

What’s this got to do with you? Why not put your own birdhouse in your yard. Enjoy! Why not offer your own life to Jesus, let Him come in, focus on Him and not yourself. Live in Joy!

“Lord, would you help us deal with the monster of “you’re not good enough”. Would You live in our lives and help us see as You see! To you we give the honor and glory.”

See Ya! Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher

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Living With No Fear

Staci has no fear, and it’s because of several reasons. She is truly a pioneer woman, she likes adventures, and she likes to have FUN!! (The song “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” can be heard playing in the background!) Honestly, from someone who knows her well, (that would be me) 😉 in her brain she is still a teenage girl livin’ on the edge.



What would it be like to live without fear? Living life abundantly, no self made limits because of the “what ifs” , the “yea, but I don’t know about this”, the “you might get hurts”, or whatever doubts, fears, and anticipations of “the next thing that’s going to go wrong” in my life.

Now, I’m not talking about common sense decisions that are made to prevent harm to our lives and our bodies. That old joke of, “Here, hold my drink while I try this!” Or “hey let’s eat a Tide pod!” I mean, c’mon man, any and everybody must use their common sense to avoid harm to themselves. (I guess not, just read where some girl fell into a tiger den trying to get a selfie. 😮

Even Staci has enough sense not to do that……………..well, except for that closeup with the Buffalo. 😉 Staci is not scared of anything. Ooops,……….. forgot she is scared of frogs! But that just shows she’s human.

Anyways, what I’m talking about is living life to the fullest. Getting the most out of life. There’s no way for us humans to do this when fear is in control.

“Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

In the times you are afraid, filled with anxiety, full of worry, concerned about the unknown, are you truly living?

You are on a Christian journey right? Hmmm let’s see, is your day filled with worry, dread, trepidations, distress…….. fears? Whoa there pardner. You may need to “get off that horse”. The Christian journey should be filled with words like trust, follow, Be. Trust in Jesus, follow Him, and Be who He created you to Be! That’s “the horse” you need to be ridin’.

We may not be in control, but God is. We may not know the future, but you know the God that does. Choose for yourself not to let fear have control in your life. Let faith take the place of fear. Hmmm, that’s a scary thought in and of itself, huh? I can’t help you with that one, but I know someone who can. I pray to Him all the time.

“Lord, could you help me and my friend with our fears. The enemy uses our doubts and our worries to try to control us. Also God, when we are fearful it takes away from our relationship with You. Could You help us with that? Help us to follow you even into the “valley of the shadow of death”. Help our unbelief. We turn around and give You the Glory for who You are. You can make this ‘scaredy cat’ become a Lion! Help me and my friends grow from the frightened pathetic puppy into a howling Wolf!! It’s all because of You. God we love you! Amen.”

Live with Faith, not fear. It gives a better view for life!



See Ya! Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher

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I’ve Got To Follow To See

Rabbit tracks…… Let’s follow because I want to see where he is now.

Taking a hike in my snowshoes the other day, I came across this set of tracks. Definitely fresh, and easy to see because of the fresh snow. The story was being told right there in front of me. Little bunny stopped and ate some grass sticking above the snow. Just a few feet further he made a quick right turn and was off to who knows where. I guess I’m the “who” that wants to know “where” so I follow. Rabbit Foo Foo was hopping through the forest. (Now you’re singing that old nursery rhyme too aren’t you?) This rabbit wasn’t picking anything up, he was just traveling through the snow. Occasionally, you could see where he stopped and ate. Uh oh, if you look right there you can see that he …….. ah,… well,…… when you got to go , you got to go! Right there in the pretty white snow. He went. Silly Rabbit…… (don’t say it 😉 ) ………… Trix are for kids. (I knew most of ya would say it!)

I bet I trailed the rabbit over a quarter of a mile. I saw where he came from, saw where he went (literally), and now I see where he has gone into a hole under some logs in a brush pile.

Following this rabbit was not my plan when I started on my snowshoeing hike this morning. But such an interesting story was before me in the snow, that I had to follow. I wasn’t interested in anything else going on around me. I was dead to the world because I am now totally consumed with following this story. That got me to thinkin’.

Luke 9:23 Then Jesus said to them, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

The cross back in Jesus day meant death. So when scripture says to “take up your cross”, I see it as meaning we must die to ourselves. You and I can easily turn our lives into an “all about me” plan. You know, everything we do is about me, myself, and I.

And along comes this Rabbit (I mean Jesus) and His story. We can’t keep making our own trail in the snow. We must follow Him if we want to see and hear Him. When we get so caught up in Jesus and His story for me and you, we truly become “dead” to the world.

I lost all track of time following the rabbit’s trail. There was no thoughts going through my head about me, myself, and I. It was all about the rabbit. Since I was “dead to the world” because of my focus on the trail, I must have been “carrying my cross”. And I thought it was because I was in snowshoes walking in heavy snow. ha……. Wasn’t really that heavy either.

Pray this prayer: Lord Jesus, help me to be so focused on following you, that I take up my cross “become dead to the world”, and follow wherever You go. Give me direction and spiritual “eyes” to see where Your story for my life is taking me. I want to see and hear from you. I love you Lord.

Focus more on where God is leading you and less on making your own trail.


See Ya! Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher!