Category Archives: Steps Along This Journey

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How I Know God Pulled Me to Colorado

The wilderness preacher's spiritual journey

To get to this most beautiful place you must break through the fence or better yet, head for the open gate!

About 4 or 5 years ago, I was facing a fence that couldn’t be crossed.  I was fed up with church/religion.  Sick mentally, physically, and spiritually from all the “going thru the motions”, the “I’m fine”, the “play church, it’s good enough for me” crowd.  Sharing with you from a person level here……and hoping it makes sense and that you will relate to it.

No, I wasn’t burnt out, I wanted to be on fire!  I wasn’t sick of people walking around and acting like they are dead, I wanted Me and them to come alive with this Christian way of life.  I wasn’t tired of hearing/talking/reading about Jesus in church, but I wanted more than a history lesson.  I wanted more. I wanted a living, loving, real relationship with my Lord and Saviour.  So I asked God could I have one.  I said a MOST POWERFUL prayer to receive this spiritual awakening.

Here it is.  I said, “Lord, HELP me!”   ……… and HE did!!

Out of the blue, I felt a pulling to go to a “men’s retreat”.  (I know now, God had a hand in all this, but at the time I was just seeking answers.)  The Noble Heart had this calling retreat.  Their goal, “helping you realize the life you are designed to live that brings life to others”.  Being what God created you to be!  That’s what I’m talking about!

So, at the “What’s Your Calling” session we had to gather pictures of things that we had a passion for.  Naturally all mine were outdoor pictures, a few pics of family…………… and a picture of two young girls.  Why did I pick that picture?  Well, it haunted me because from their body language I could tell they didn’t want to be there.  Someone was making them sit for the picture. They were being made to sit, stay, do something that they were not the least bit interested in.  They had cute faces, but that didn’t hide the scowl, nor the fact that they were wanting to be somewhere else.  And this……. it reminded me of ME in my church activities.  (Lightning hasn’t struck yet, so keep reading.)

I was asked a most troubling question at this retreat. (shout out to Jeff) Jeff asked me, “Tell us your story.”  HUH??  “Tell us what God is doing in your life, how you live each day being what God has created you to be.”

I’m fifty something at the time.  I’m an answer man at church.  I can quote scripture, give advice, have a prayer for you, tell you what you may be needing to hear.  But tell MY story.  I’ve never been asked to do this.  I broke down.

I broke down because I realized that for the first time in my spiritual life it’s not what I DO.  It’s what I BE.  I have lived my whole life doing good things, helping others, etc,etc.  But now Jeff, Gary, Sam, Ralph, and the other men are being used by God to help me. Help me to understand. My simple but powerful prayer was being answered.  God was more interested in a relationship with little ole me than the list of “good” things I was doing.

Jeff suggested that I get away.  “Religion”, not the true Christian walk had poisoned me.  I agreed.   So did God.

When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place.  The Lord is with me…….  Psalm 118: 5-6 NIV  

Yep, That’s how I know God called me to Colorado.  You can’t get anymore spacious than that.  But what God did and continues to do for me spiritually is this…………….. He left the gate open!!!!   Woo hoo….Yea boy!

   

Spiritually, I had to come to Colorado so I could concentrate on BEING with God. (not so much on the doing).  I experienced true Christian Love at Horn Creek church camp.  I had a one on one discussion with my Lord and Saviour in an 1800’s era outhouse of all places.  (Best worship service ever for me!)

But most of all, I came ALIVE!!!  I wanted more out of my marriage, my work, my everything.  It wasn’t anything I did, it was all God and His love for me.

So,………. is there a fence between you and a Truly living, loving relationship with Christ?  What’s keeping you back from this abundant life?  It’s a big bad fence, I know, six strands of barbed wire, electric, with razor wire too.  But friend, hear me…….. God knows where the gate is,……and He’s leaving it open for ya!!!  What are you waiting for?

You may not physically be pulled to Colorado like I was, but I’m bettin’ you need God to get you to a most “spacious place”.  That for you could be on the back porch, the woods out back, that favorite tree.  Maybe it’s just beside the coffee pot.  Somewhere where you can feel God’s presence. God’s a lot bigger (and spacious) than we truly let Him BE! Go where you feel His Love, His Will.  It’s where You can just BE!   Then all the doing will fall into place.  And the best part about all that Doing!  It’s all done on the other side of the gate!!!! 

See Ya!!  Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher, living in a spiritually spacious place!

 

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I Want To Fly,…… But I’m Afraid of Heights

How to Live a True Spiritual Journey by Letting Go

Well, I did it!  Scared of heights,but I did it!

Staci, Jamie, Jordan, and I took on an adventure of a ropes course. (thanks to my close friend June, for gift card…shout out to Elevate Red Creek in Perkinston, Ms).  The course consists of following a “path” 15 to 40 feet above the ground.  Various obstacles must be crossed.  Climb over a wooden bridge dangling by only ropes.  Strap in to a zip line that carries you across a  river.  Climb, pull, twist, grab, jump,….. whatever it takes to get across.  You are safely harnessed, YOU WILL NOT FALL.  Right……………………

We had to go through a ground school to be able to “play”.  We had to sign “the form” so all lawyers would be happy.  This form basically says, “You are taking your life into your own hands.  Don’t do anything stupid.  There are consequences.”  We had to listen to Donna explain the “rules”.   She told each of us how to buckle, how to clip in, how to do what it takes to have fun, (and stay alive!).  I loved how she casually mentioned that if I didn’t do one particular thing, I could die.  Well, that’s just great!!!!!!!

I am deathly afraid of heights.  Get me 4 feet off of the ground and I freeze up.  No, it’s not something I can control.  I know in my head that all is “OK”, but somewhere between the brain waves of my head to the nerve endings in my legs there is a HUGE disconnect.  My legs will not work.  But most crazy of all,…………. my hand will not let go.  I can be on a 6 foot ladder, or an outside elevator, a balcony at the hotel, or the edge of a cliff, or ON A ROPES COURSE!!  Wherever I sense that I’m above the ground,  I freeze.  I can’t move.  I can’t let go.  I’m stuck.  Laugh all you want.  Call me a chicken or scaredy cat.  Don’t matter to me.  At the time, I don’t care.  Cause there is a problem,….. I want to fly, but I’m afraid of heights.

Knowing my self and my “fear” situation, I choose to boldly go where I never choose to go on purpose.  That’s right, I’m on purpose choosing to be four feet above the ground.  (Actually, I’ll be 30 feet and higher on part of this course)  My right hand is “freezing up” as I type this.  All is well, I’m actually having fun with my family on this outing.  Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I’m overwhelmed with fear.  Yep, the hand won’t let go, the legs won’t move.  I’m stuck.  Part of me knows that I will not fall.  But a part of me (that controls my hand and legs) has shut down.  Now a part of me is embarassed.  I knew it would happen.  Everybody, and I mean everybody at the ropes course now is watching and taking interest in me.  I’m the perfect example of one of “those people”.  One of those people who are afraid.  Me afraid?  I’m down right petrified, embarrassed, unable to move, and well, mad at myself.

While I’m stuck on the rope ladder like a fly in a spider’s web, a crowd of people have somehow from somewhere gathered.  My family, other families, workers and crew, and the owner/director of the place himself……… Mr. T J.

To be honest, I was expecting to get laughed at, picked on, and in a friendly way, made fun of.  But I was hearing lots of voices.  Voices of encouragement saying “C’mon Dan da Man, You can do it!”  Voices of motivation, voices of support, voices of inspiration all were being heard by me from my loved ones.  I was hearing from complete strangers.  We were in this together,………… and yet, I couldn’t move.

Then I heard God’s voice.

OK, actually, it was T J’s voice.  He’s the leader of Elevate Red Creek.  With a calm reassuring voice, (as if he had known me for years), he said this.  “Dan, you’ve got this.  Take your left hand and move it eight inches to the left.”

When you are scared of heights, to move eight inches you might as well be moving eighteen feet.  For me to move just this small amount, not even noticeable to others, I must do something TOTALLY against my own way of thinking.  I MUST LET GO.

That’s why us “scared of heights” people are like that.  We can’t let go. Fears take control.  I KNOW that I won’t fall, but still there is the fear.

The big step here is not moving my hand eight inches to the left.  The big step is in letting go.

Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

The biggest step in becoming a Christian is a step so small that it may not be noticeable to others.  You and you alone must hear God’s voice above all the other “voices” of this world.  You and you alone must realize that God can direct and control your life even better than what you might have planned for yourself.  Fears may still be there.  It sometimes may seem totally against your own way of thinking.  But to follow Christ on this Christian journey you’ve chosen, you must take small steps.  Before God Himself can get you to “move your right hand eight inches”, you yourself must do something so small, but at the same time so HUGE that it changes your path forever.  You must let go.

Easier said than done, I know.  It involves trust, faith, letting go and taking each day one step at a time. (even eight inch steps one at a time!)

I enjoyed my time at Elevate Red Creek.  I faced my fears, I made small steps into an adventure filled with more small steps.

I’m enjoying this Christian Journey I call living my life as well.  I face my fears, I make small steps everyday following God’s will and direction.  It’s an adventure.  A Holy Spirit filled adventure.  Not because of who I am, but because of who God is!!  Care to join with me in this Christian way of life?  It’s easy!  Well, ………… first you have to let go.

See Ya!  Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher

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I’m In Over My Head

......and Why You should Join Me.

And it begins…….Time to take my log house apart, log by log, load this house on two flatbed trucks and haul them 1140 miles to our property in Westcliffe, Colorado.  Woohoo!!

I’ll admit it, I’m “in over my head”.  It’s too much.  It’s too hard.  I don’t have control over anything!   You’ve had that same “in over your head” feeling, right?  Something very important to you has become too much to handle, too expensive, or maybe just too difficult because you have lost control!  What ya gonna do now?

This blog writes about everyday things, and shares a scripture.  My prayer and goal is that God somehow then uses it to help you on your very own spiritual journey. I firmly believe that He uses me to reach out to others.  My writings have been described as simple, nothing elaborate to me or my writings.  I’ll take that as a compliment! (I plant the seeds, God takes it from there). Here is the mystery and complicated vision to my simple way of writing.  When I’m writing a story about an everyday ordinary event, what I’m really writing about is how this applies to my spiritual journey.  What’s even more puzzling is how this writing is actually describing what is going on in YOUR life and YOUR VERY OWN spiritual journey.  So, am I writing about a physical activity concerning the building of the log home, or writing about what is being seen and shown spiritually in this same exact activity, or really and truly writing something about you, but just using a physical example to help you better understand yourself?  Well, yes to all three.  Whew!!!    Let me try explaining this again.

I write a story about a physical activity that is showing a spiritual truth.  You read this story, but somehow, someway you realize that this story really is to be used by you, for you to become one step closer to God on your spiritual journey. See, there is no way that this country boy with no formal theological training from some great big prestigious school or seminary should be doing this right?  Right, cause it’s obvious that I’m “in over my head”.  The wilderness preacher tries to write a story and reveal the spiritual meaning so that it applies to you?  Really?  That requires knowledge, communication skills, and the ability to reach you in your busy everyday life.  I’ll admit it, I’m “in over my head”.  I don’t stand a chance.  I don’t have a prayer.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait……….. I do have a prayer!    “Lord, could you help me?”

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

Being in over your head causes me (and I bet you) to rely on God’s Will.  Asking God for help means you are willing to give up controlling your life yourself.  That’s a big step.  We normally want to do things our way.  Getting in over your head focuses you on God’s Will, His timing, His desires for you.  Looka there,……. you are being what God created you to be!!!!!

 

My friends, over the next several months I’ll be sharing all about the activities concerning the building of the log home.   But wait, what I’ll really be writing about is the inexhaustible riches and love of Christ.   But wait, what you’ll really be reading is something that is drawing you one step closer to God.  Go figure!!

Ephesians 3:7-10The Message (MSG)  8-10 And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ.

Are you “in over your head” spiritually?  Maybe you are just standing in ankle deep water afraid to go deeper?  Are you saying “little prayers” because of the fear and lack of faith in the “Big Prayers”.  Do you still keep God inside of this tiny little box that you want to control, or have you realized that this Awesome, All Mighty, All Powerful Holy Being, wants to have a living loving relationship with you?

When someone says that they are “in over their head”, they usually mean that they no longer have control.  That’s why I’m admitting that I am “in over my head”.  But it’s a good thing in my spiritual life.  I no longer have control of my life.  I gave it all to God.  He is in control.  A song I’ve been hearing a lot lately says this in one of the verses.  My faith has become my eyes.

My challenge to you is to live so that you are “in over your head”.  God can take care of those problems too big for you to control.  God will also provide opportunities to grow with Him that only He can provide.  When you spiritually live life “in over your head” you break out of that little box you hide in, you step out of that comfort zone that has made life a rut.  Most important of all, you have let your faith become your eyes.  Was blind, but now you see (with faith).

Join with me over these next few months. I’ll be sharing what’s going on with the construction of the log home.  Tell others to join as well.  This log cabin adventure has taken a life of its own.  I’m wanting to share with you through the building of my log home how God is working (and loving) each of us each and every day.

[prayer]  Lord could you be with my friends and me this week. Be with us in a way that we feel your presence.  Be with all of us as we live life “in over our heads”.  Be with us as we look to you for direction and guidance.  Lord help me and my friends.  Help me to BE what you’ve created me to be.

I’m in over my head……… and it’s right where I need to BE!!!

 

See Ya!   Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher